Dear Future Husband…

I have dreamed hundreds of dreams about you, each time waking back up into a reality where you were not there..

I must have prayed for you a thousand times, day after day, night after night. I got so discouraged, that eventually I stopped.  I became content and complacent. I indulged in my singleness. But you were always a nagging thought in the back of my mind.

A long time ago, I wrote out “The List” of qualities I hoped you would possess.  That sad sheet of paper is now so tattered and torn that the words are no longer recognizable.  At my age, this list just seems like some magical child-like fantasy that I hope will one day come true.

I watched man after man walk in and out of my life – each one promising to love me forever. Each one promising me he was YOU. I gave them all of me and watched myself be broken down to the lowest common denominator, all in an effort to make them love me; to make them stay. Not realizing that no matter what I did , said, or became  would ever keep a man who didn’t want to be kept.

And I watched each and every one of those men, just months after they left me, give the love I so desperately wanted to another woman. I watched them marry someone else. Without a second thought of me or my children. Not caring that I had sacrificed myself  or that I had compromised my values, my self worth, my body and  self esteem.

I sunk lower and lower until I became someone I no longer recognized – Someone I was ashamed of; someone I couldn’t bear to look at in the mirror. All because I thought he was YOU, dear future husband…

I  vowed to myself that the last time was the last time. I would wait patiently for God to send you to me.

  • No longer would I compromise my standards for the sake of “not being alone.”
  • No longer would I give my heart to a man that hasn’t earned it.
  • No longer would I allow a ANY MAN to take my body before I took his last name.

So dear future husband promise me this…

  • That you truly love Jesus and have a sincere and earnest relationship with.
  • That you will love me and my children unconditionally.
  • That you won’t waste my time. Life is short…I am very happily single, don’t come messing that up.
  • That you will always be honest with me. I HATE LIARS!
  • That you won’t degrade my virtue before you change my last name
  • That you are NOT 420 Friendly, I don’t knock it, but the fact still remains-It is illegal. As a matter of fact if you smoke at all, I am not your girl.
  • That you don’t still club, run the streets, and/or get pissy sloppy drunk. Nothing wrong with having a drink, but being drunk is not attractive. You’re grown, let’s act like it.
  • That you don’t have a bunch of female “friends.” If you would rather spend the majority of your time hanging and talking to your “homegirl,” then you two should probably be together.
  • That you want more kids. As a matter of fact, you must be absolutely in love with the idea of family adoption, orphan care, orphan related missions and the like. This is pretty much my life’s purpose. If that scares you off. You are not my husband…
  • Lastly, that you have a legal source of income, car and your own residence; and that you are financially sound and responsible. If you don’t have the aforementioned you probably should be focusing on getting your life together, not finding a mate. I don’t need you to take care of me, but you must be able to take care of yourself.

Do you have a similar experience?  What would you say to your future spouse?  Let me know in the comments below.

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