Well I’ve been back from Tennessee for 2 weeks now…..I didn’t get any of the jobs and I still haven’t had any clients in a while, but God will provide some way…..HE ALWAYS DOES…anyhoo I have decided to start making some changes and I going to keep track of them to keep myself encouraged. I may even start another blog…

The first thing I am going to change is my weight….

I”m at 170 lbs…10 lbs higher than my last recorded highest weight..Mind you a year ago..I was 136 lbs wearing a size 5 and 7…..and now I wear 13/14/15…..Heck the beginning of this year I was at 145…..so I have had a dramatic weight gain.

So I must make a change……I’m starting with a detox first….I have chosen the Master Cleanse. If you don’t know about it click the link to read more….Then I am going to follow it up with healthier eating and more exercise.

Secondly my hair…..


I got my hair flat ironed in Tennessee (see above pictures)..so it would be straight for my job interview and when I washed it, it would not revert back to it’s curly/coily state. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO disappointed. I seriously want to cry just thinking about it….I am going to try a somethings I found online to see if they will help, if not I will be chopping my hair all off again and starting over because the heat has surely damaged my hair…..Hopefully I won’t have to as I cut all my hair off 2 years ago to 1/4 inch and finally got it to grow back down t the end of my neck. I REALLY don’t want to start all over again…But more than likely I’m going to have to do the BIG CHOP again….

I’ll keep you guys posted…..

In Other News…

Boogy is doing HORRIBLE in school behavior -wise ..He has gotten 5 discipline referrals in like 3 weeks time….I had to go get him early from school one day because he was being so disruptive his teacher couldn’t teach. I had a conference with her and she said he is throwing major tantrums, rolling on the floor,yelling out, fighting, bullying, threatening other kids, etc…… I was shocked as I thought we had nipped these things in the bud……..and HE DOES NOT DO THEM AT HOME AT ALL (I’m not joking..he doesn’t do them AT ALL)…..Probably because he knows I would wear his tail out if he tried me like that ( Sorry if that offends some of you non spankers, but I’m an ole school mama)

I asked her specifically what she does  when he does these things and I quickly discovered the problem.  The first things she does is asks him in a sweet lovely “Please don’t do that kind of voice,” to stop doing whatever he is doing…..(Strike 1)  Then she goes and loves and hugs on him encouraging him to do the right thing (Strike 2), Thirdly if his behavior improves even slightly during the day she gives him a  treat for doing things that are normally expected of him…(I CAN’T STAND THIS….I don’t think kids should be rewarded for things that they are EXPECTED to do..Case in point…She gives him a treat for standing in line quietly or doing his work…To me that is the LEAST of what he should do and HE SHOULD NOT BE REWARDED FOR IT, ESPECIALLY IF ALL DAY LONG HE HAS BEEN ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE DONKEY!)(Strike 3)

Lastly, after everything is over she tells him she loves him and hugs, and pats and rock on him. I don’t mind her telling her she forgives him or even hugging him. But I don’t want her being excessive with it and I can tell that she is…. (Strike 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 )Because I witnessed it first hand the day when I had to pick him up from school that Boogy is manipulating her so she can hug and love and rock him……You should have seen the theatrics I witnessed…. Crying and snotting and acting like he was genuinely sorry….and the more he cried the longer she held on to him and The more SHE apologized because SHE didn’t want his feelings to be hurt….She was obviously fooled by the Drama King. She even confessed to me that his behavior was so bad one day that she spent her evening crying….

They had some kind of project in school about family and Boogy yelled out i the middle of the lesson: I don’t have a daddy! and then started pouting and throwing a fit. She was like I felt so sorry for him and I went to hug him to tell him it was alright.

He is playing her like a fiddle……

I told her don’t feel sorry for him because he has no daddy.. REJOICE with him because he is no longer an orphan and having one parent is far better than having none, any day…..

Don’t get me wrong his teacher is AWESOME and her methods would work completely fine on an “emotionally healthy” child. But ummm Boogy, God bless his little heart, is not your average bear. He is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO needy!!!!! He quickly learned how to manipulate his teacher so ALL attention can be on him.

I told her flat out he is manipulating you so he can have all of your attention. I told her if you want to have some order in your classroom you are going to have to stop being nice to him and babying him and be EXTREMELY FIRM with him. Don’t ask him nicely to get off the floor… Tell him with authority: GET UP OFF OF THAT FLOOR AND GET IN YOUR CHAIR NOW….. You don’t have to say it in a mean way, but you NEED to assert your authority….Don’t give him any options, Don’t ask him TELL HIM!!!!! Otherwise you are going to have pure HELLO all year long.

I also told her that if he has acted up at anytime during the day, then he gets NO TREATS AT ALL…..regardless if whether he straightens up his act or not….

She wasn’t too pleased with any of my suggestions….but you know what,  I know what worked for me and I used to be the same exact way she was..extremely lenient, loving, hugging and patting and rocking and I had to completely change because I quickly learned I was being manipulated. At almost 3 years old I HAD to rock him to sleep every night or he would throw a major fit.  I NEVER had to rock Destructo or CT to sleep unless I chose to. It wasn’t mandatory. If I just put them down to sleep they would go to sleep on their own. I finally just started letting B pitch a fit until he fell asleep and eventually he stopped having a fit all together, when he realized it wasn’t going to get him what he wanted.

I personally learned the hard way that I can’t cut them any slack…..Another example:  In school, last year he was having a particularly bad week week behavior-wise.  Normally in this class, he was pretty well behaved….not perfect, but nothing extremely disruptive like he was doing that week and like he is doing now…..

So I cut him a little slack the first couple days, thinking that was just him having a bad couple days. I just talked to him and told him not to do it anymore…..On the 3rd day, his teacher stops me before I can even get in the classroom and said he has been acting like a complete fool and when the other kids said that the teacher is going to tell your mom …

She said, He said and I QUOTE: “So what, I’m not going to get in trouble….My mama ain’t gone spank me, I’ve been bad all week and she hasn’t spank me.”

You do know that I lit him up as soon as we got in the car, don’t you? And guess what after that spanking I didn’t have anymore problems for the rest of the year.

He better straighten up..or no BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS for him…..He’ll be 6 of October 22nd.. I told him we will eat cake and ice cream and celebrate your birthday while you watch. I’m not playing…..

But anyhoo…. Let’s hope he has a good day with no referrals today……

2 Comments

  1. ruth on October 2, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    oh I will be praying! You son sounds like all four of mine!! I can not cut them ANY slack or I pay for it big time!! I am homeschooling and I think its so much easier then trying to explain to some teacher. I know many people think I am way to strict. But I gotta be!! I cant spank 3 of my kids because they arent adopted yet. But it really has helped with the other two! My son dug a two ft deep hole in the garden today, we decided to burn some enegry and bury all his bad behavior! LOL

    Praying that God would bring you some income SOON!

  2. Linda Up North on October 7, 2010 at 1:28 am

    Oh my we have had a lot of the same of this… The thing is some of our teachers had NO experience with kids adopted from the foster care system and so, bless their hearts, they were just filled with compassion and led to act on it as any “normal” person might be. Some of them were very open to hearing (I try to be gentle in the educating) how they were being manipulated (bad for them AND the kiddo) and some not so much… sigh…

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